Q9 Reborn Darker: 50% More Twisted Macinations and Blackened Gaits of Fate

... (The cover was a Tesseract! Big time deja vu on that one.) The title referred to the fact that all previous collections ended up divided into 9 sections, and this one was also, thus Quadra 9. All except Triumvirum's 3x3 format were just coincidentally divided into 9 sections. I can't compare this collection to the others. It just exploded creatively. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. When or where it worked, it was awesome though. Occasionally dark and twisted, yet never without a purpose or soul. ...

PolSci.com (Original index page)
(and every index page there since then), Early 2004

      Not to say this collection is that great, but it is for me is what people write poetry for, to create something better than you are, to channel creativity into something really really good. After this, I had no need to prove myself to others. It is as good or as worthless as anything people do, and it was definitely a real collection. How to divide it up, how to try to make sense of it, that was more difficult. The strangest ones, with made up words, olde English quasi-Shakespearian (lots of Thy's), and brilliant imagery left me wondering where it was leading. It was definitely stranger and better than the ones before it, and a bit darker. I had touched on serious subjects like Death Squads in Central America, the literal raping and murder of Amazonia with Triumvirum, but Quadranine came closer to a fuller viewing of what people really are behind their self-images.

      The original order I think is important. It shows how I was interpreting it, one poem at a time, then rereading them. These are good, what next? Where is this going? WTF is it all about? It is strange enough and a big enough of a collection I really still do not have a clue about that. Many of the subjects I have touched on in other things all my life. In some left-out mostly forgotten poems here, I have seen glimpses of ideas which would only come into full bloom or focus years later, but because those ideas were right here then, I can't say I was not aware of them. Artistically, poetically, absractionally, we are always aware of everything we might do later if we get the chance. All we need is time to sort it or let it out.

Summer 2006, Intro to Quadranine: The Original Uncut Version

      Quadranine is moved up on the site because it is the best one I did and it is now restored to its original form. In the last thing written in that notebook was the following line, "A survey of the belief systems people have and the courses of action these beliefs impel them to take." It says little to others perhaps, but to me, that sentence speaks volumes. We are set on courses of "fated" destinies because of what we have bought into, and cannot reconsider while moving. The faster we are moving, the less perspective we have and eventually those movements and those "ends" are all we see and know. I know nothing is fated and all "ends" can be changed. Ideology is what makes us human, separates us from other species, but it is ultimately to be chained to past ways of thinking at the expense of the future and of freedom.

The World We Inherited, The World We Will Leave Behind, September 4,2007 TruthRevival.Org

I did not like the idea of just using a 4 sided pyramid on the cover of Quadranine, nor even one mirrored below it. I then thought of using the same symbol or shape (an octahedron with a line in the middle where "touches" or is in "sync with" this world, a "base") configured in a cube shape with the 6 four sided pyramids pointing to the center of the cube, the bases forming a cube, and the other 6 pointing away from the center outward from the dice shape as points. "Four without and four within..."

      I liked the idea of this adding the number 12 to the mix, but the problem was how to draw it so it would not look like a mess (as much as it did when I did draw it). I then thought both representations together, a mess of 12 four sided pyramids (6 octahedrons) in a cube shape with 6 pointing toward the center of a cube and 6 pointing away, next to a regular 4 sided pyramid. But the 6 pointing away was to be the same concept, a mirror image of the other "outer" six but pointing into a "ground" equally from the other "inner" 6 and that "ground" touching the edges of all 12 pyramids at once, a 3 dimensional curved "ground" (the cube between the 12 pyramids) which was really flat somehow (from a 4 dimensional viewpoint, I understand now, seeing a 3D shape as flat, a "ground" as we see a 2D plane as flat) but also at right angles to each outer and inner pyramids along the edges of the cube. Also that the tips and edges of the outer 6 meet up somewhere away exactly the same way as the inner 6, equally mirroring how the 6 inner ones touch, only seen as such when viewed at a different angle.

      This was representational of a 4 dimensional object or curved 3 dimensional space around itself. Just as every three dimensional object is a representation of a 2D plane or "space" curved around upon itself, 4D "objects" can be envisioned as curved 3D spaces or universes curved back upon themselves forming that "surface" area. I know now that that was what I was thinking of but could not fully recognize it then in that way yet. When I later that year came upon a wireframe drawing of a tesseract, (the exact same concept or drawing from within middle inner cube when the cube in the innermost area is not a cube but is instead seeming to be a single point) I saw that that concept was more easily drawn and recognizable, and was also an easier to understand concept of 3 dimensional space curved around a back upon itself, and in a single symbol, not two (the way I had previously represented it), both of which were confusing and were two different views upon the same idea which had to be combined mentally to be understood.

Still here; Charles Williams novels; Not going Galt (or Gault) anytime soon anymore
JaredDuBois.com, 4/5/2009

      Since the second post on this blog (Repeating Repetition again, August 7th, 2006) was some lines or quotes from what was then the newly restored version of my "Repetition" collection of poems, dubbed "Repetition Reloaded," I figured I would do the same with the second post back (after a gap of almost 2 years) here, putting up some lines taken from the Quadranine collection since it has also been restored to its original form.

      I refer to it as "dark" or "darker" than the others but it was not really that much different. It was written in a very turbulent year, 1989, 20 years ago this year. Mostly what was removed was simply to try to get it into categories, not always to "lighten" it up at all. Individually, I still think the poems in the Pentacle collection were even better, but it was not the same type of collection because Pentacle was spread out over many years, unlike Quadranine. The longer or more times a work covers, it is not really as representative of a single or more similar time or times. For me, Quadranine and 1989 are linked together as that was the year over which it developed.

      Some of the imagery being stranger and more psychedelic may have a bit to do with the fact that it was the only other collection of poems, except for the first one, The Versatile Verse, in which I was smoking pot during the period of writing it. The election of 1988 did not go as I expected so I pretty much walked away from college for awhile (a fairly long while it turned out) disgusted with the idea of working in politics after that. It was not nearly as upsetting as the election of 2000 was, which was far more disconcerting on a whole gigantically higher level, and for many more people than myself. I stopped smoking pot again after a short time, before the end of 1989, but I am sure that influenced what I was writing somewhat. At least some of the strange imagery in Quagmire and Scares of Wont shows an effect. I had gotten much better at writing poetry by then so that collection combined a much more developed skill with, how shall I put it, artificially enhanced inspiration. It was an overlapping combination that would not be repeated.

      By the time of the Pentacle collection, as I have said previously, I was losing interest in writing poetry. I had moved on to writing songs for awhile for the added challenges of combining poetry with music, which is a different sort of category, more difficult in some ways, more superficial in others. “Wordy” songs, though they can be good and respected, are different than what most people expect songs to be usually. They expect constant or recurring repetition and lighter less thoughtful topics, as well as a far simpler vocabulary than I liked to use with writing poems.

      I tend to like to move on to other things and lost interest in writing songs after a few years as well. Writing long posts at TruthRevival.org was interesting too, a different type of writing form, as is blogging in general, with lots of variations on how people approach writing them. I liked the summation / overview of the first year of TruthRevival.org with The Lion, the Phoenix, and the Serpent retrospective. That could have been a good final coda for that blog if there was to be no more.

      Why I like to move on to new types of writing/art forms, I really don't know definitively. I can't imagine doing or wanting to do the same thing for many years. Learning new things to do creatively means a sudden rush of improvements until you find around what level you will probably finish off at, how far you might get. I don't mean success, money, or fame-wise, which are mostly irrelevant to me. To be financially dependent upon an art form has its own rewards (more free time to get better at it, more incentive to get better at it) but that has its own traps as well such as needing to be more conforming to what others would expect or wish to see, hear, or read. I am glad that other than software, (which most people don't consider an "art" form, though I try to view it and treat it as such) that I have never been dependent upon writing for an income, thus no incentive to do it or keep doing it longer, or for any other reason, other than because it interests me to do so at the time for some reason.

      So while getting Quadranine back into chronological order, at that time I singled out these lines quoted below as a mixture of what I thought were good lines sampled both from the outtakes, as well as from the ones which I felt were good enough to be in the “categorized” shorter version. It took years to get around to posting this anywhere, but since the last post here covered the cover design of Quadranine in great detail, that also seemed to make this a good time to mention the overview of the content as well. And here below is the long ago selected outtakes from Quadranine...

Living the life of a pariah
is a harrowing yet illuminating way to be
as you see a great fear hidden safely away,
a fear of ugliness or of imperfection
in people too immersed in superficiality
to know or care deeply for the minds within
and blind to prejudice's subtlest manifestation

- Sword of the Slight 2
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Raise the pious high then drop them from the sky
while we eagerly await their flight or obliteration

Desecrate the scholars, let them see ignorance's power
and make them fear the inmates who dare to run the asylum

Cut the godhead's throat, destroy their myths then gloat
as we dare even praise ourselves
for being less believing than the rest

- Revolting 5
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Toward injustice
I instinctively set my course
for with all that I am and have
I shall meet it head on full force

Gaining precious momentum
each moment of my waking hours,
I search to find the optimal path
to make even the leviathans cower

- Full Force 6
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No longer lame by assigning blame
I light a torch in the underworld
hoping she'll see the flame

In the dark I grow faint at heart
as one crumpled little body
rips my world apart

- Runaways 9
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A language is a precarious lie
which tells us we do not understand
Understanding is only a means to tell us
that some unseen force is in command

That is the lie which gains our trust
and makes us believe we are piles of dust
but once our lost culture comes of age
ignorance will mark the presence of a sage

- Sage 11
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Those who seek to emancipate all
instead come to enslave as a consequence
To force any agendas through intimidation
is to doom its intents to irrelevance

- Conscientious Objectors 15
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Thy nobles are but pawns and thy outcasts, kings
as pomp and circumstance strip away the cloaks
of spontaneity held dear by the precarious spirit
which presses upon all men to break the wake of God

- Thy Valley is High 19
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And as the crest of humanity
sinks slowly into the sludge of refuse
while the ungainly chart the course
for a ship of states
set adrift upon a sea of eternal greed,
shed a tear for lack of rain

- Quagmire 24
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Efforts to educate are lost
as they tear you down to pay the cost
of keeping the walls of ignorance standing
and send you off for rehabilitation

Laugh hearty and play the knave
as you carry your insanity to the grave
unable to unburden yourself of truth
that you know in heart yet dare not speak

- Sane in an Insane World 27
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That this very self is a part of a greater plan
soon follows from this and leads one to understand
that the very truth of being
lies in a conjunction of all hands

- Inre Gastion 29
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Twisted machinations
and blackened gaits of fate
cringe the stout messiahs
who lie prostate at the gate

- Scares of Wont 30
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The tide of time bears not
any mercy for the drowning
swept away by the flood of relentless subjugation
of a race which once was free
before the wealthy and the learned
defined what freedom meant

- The Eternal Yoke 40
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What is not is our world and what is not is what it us
We are born into ignorance and live out acting thus

- Void and Null 41
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Two very differing worlds
share all lands behind all boundaries
populated by those who chase their dreams
and those who live with despair,
two resultant outlooks which can never be integrated
dooms all futures on Earth

- Diatribe 44
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Monuments to ravenous ideas rise as cold as the stones
which form their stoic base unyielding to the changes
that seek to chip away at the timeless void they seek
to keep humanity trapped in, unable to grow or to die

- Pillars of Stone 47
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Stay free of them and ignore how they are condemned
by our indifference at their tragic way
of having to cope with the absence of hope
and the shadow of death every day

Live in a cocoon guarded by the goons
with the guns to keep them at bay
and kill your heart by living completely apart
from being willing to do what you may

- As You Walk Away 50
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Judge me not by virtue of my ideas compatibility to yours
for you cannot know their true values without being me

Define me not by those standards by which you gaze outward
seeing only that which your palatability allows you to see

Measure me not for I am more than I may seem to be
because in my heart I am not caged by that which I am

- Measure Me Not 52
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Still they asserted for the young to be proud
of the dictators and police state which wrought these things
for in the end the wrongs were made right and justice came,
albeit seemed a bit late

Both will helplessly forever read the official lines
and cheer their young down whatever roads their nations take
for neither are they innocent positive educations they seem,
they are the face of the states hold upon its youth

- Boy Scouts/Young Pioneers 64
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Look down on me all you will
for I shall never look back up to you
Step on me and crush me
but you shall never beat me into submission

Take more than I could ever give
and you will still never possess me
Separate me from this world if you must
for if it is yours to control I do not want it

- Defiance 69
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When there is ever more people
destined to fight for fewer resources
who dares ask they metamorphize
into brilliant creatures of virtue
free from the dank dark earth below?

Now our world is in another sullen state
but who will fight rationality enough
to reach into the depths of the human spirit
and pull up some wondrous new aplomb
to save us again from proceeding consequences?

- Triumph over Reason 72
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Suddenly death is everywhere
and tranquil serenity is forever disrupted
by the disarming preponderance of fear
which sets in upon the mood of the day
preventing all from complete recovery

Overnight chaos becomes the rule
typifying the terror embroidered within
the troubled hearts and minds of the survivors
who wander through the shattered ruins
in the graveyard that yesterday was home

- Without Warning 74
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Inseparably intertwined with its culture,
the individual is more myth than reality
still it is the myth that acts thus
and it is the myth that dies alone
at last separating itself from all else,
digesting slowly the irrational truth
that never was it a part of anything
but that all else was a part of it

- Individuals 84
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Choose your star carefully
by letting your whole being decide
for the direction you take
may, in time, become you

- Pointed Stars 86
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Where will it come from?
Where will he beat me next?
In the living room?
In the kitchen while I'm making his dinner?
Or in the bedroom after the kids go to sleep?

Where will he hit me this time?
In the face most likely,
his favorite target,
sadistically savoring the chance to make my private torture
visible to the entire world

- Where Next? 87
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...what it was he was only now finding he did not know,
this newness, this undiscovered incompleteness
lying beyond each new turn.

When suddenly and brashly he demanded his immediate release
he quietly was told that he held no bondage to lose
and that anywhere he desired to be lay waiting
merely for the moment and chance for he to choose
for moments are like coins tossed upon an endless forture
waiting to be taken regardless of where or when, or whose

- Vestabur - Part II 96
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