Still up it seems - Polsci.com in flux

 This was my first blog. This is to keep it current in case of being de-listed. After this blog a new one was created called TruthRevival which also seems still up. That one had a post as recently as early 2020, and this one not since 2018.

Polsci.com is in limbo but directs to jareddubois @ substack. There have been new posts there since 2023 semi-regularly and 4 recently in 2024.

The Polsci.com which dated from 2004 has been moved to unlostworld.com which was meant to be used for something else, more a redesign of the old Polsci.com's content for phones and tablets. The original design was made with desktops and laptops in mind and grew organically so no real common index was made for posts which originated from Polsci.com, Truthrevival.org, the 5D Notes Blog (also on blogspot).

While those latter two did have index pages, Polsci.com was a mish (monster) mash of posts I made from various places. Unlostworld was worked on in 2020 and 2021 but never came to fruition.

The reworked vintage posts (hopefully grammar gremlins and spelling errors removed) provided the bulk of the "repost" parts of the new posts at the "new" Polsci.com, now just a substack site for now.

Someday I may actually be able to get paid for what I write, or what I wrote, or sell off domains, the Zedlam game or other programs, or get hired at a job that pays enough to resume my studies at a University overseas, country and college still in flux, but as I stated in recent posts at Substack / Polsci.com, focused this time on East Asia Politics and security issues, possibly to work on a Master's or PhD thesis on the Taiwan issue.

Funding if I cannot sell something or barter my labor (hopefully unnecessary if I can sell something) has yet to be worked out. I have tried KickStarter, and that was mentioned in recent posts. For now, as always, I take things one post at a time. 

I will check to see if anything points to here. Most of the posts here were backed up into the old Polsci.com, and now those reposts are at Unlostworld.com (if that redirect still works). Maybe someday I will make one of them into a more normal site. So far, writing what I think is the most important thing to say has been my priority, but hopefully a space will open up for more detailed and focused research on particular items (and a FULL new post) if University studies do lie ahead.

Hawaii has been great. Lahaina lives in my heart still, if only in memories, and another space and time. That can not be so easily destroyed and forgotten, at least by and to me.

Ahoha.

20 Years Post Morality in the Age of Trump - Coming Soon to a Blog near you!

     I probably will write soon something about my Morality: Individual and Social collection of short essays which I wrote almost 20 years ago near where I am now, though it was finished on Cape Cod about 8 months later. That work stressed how peoples notions of what is and is not immoral changes over time and it sometimes mentioned "20 years ago", or "20 years from now" in the text.

     Seeing as now it is close to 20 years later after writing that, it seems a good time to list a few notions of how what people think about morality has changed since then. It is also almost 10 years since I wrote on TruthRevival.org about how notions of what is and isn't "politically correct" I saw as a greater threat to free speech and freedom in general than anyone on the left or right of the political spectrum could then imagine.

           Where things stand today hopefully at best is to begin that necessary broad or broadest possible dialog for change which is more important or as important as any implemented or chosen changes. The dialog will need to be far more inclusive that what is or can be done, or even should be. All things and roads ought to be considered someday and in due time. And for a greater range than ever before, that time is increasingly right now.

            As much as consensus is a good thing and necessary, I prefer to embrace also the right of people saying things I disagree with, even despise, than to simply safely swim in a stream of a world finally coming to it senses, hopefully. Both things are necessary to me. what people deride as political correctness is far more dangerous than either side, left or right, anarchist or neo-con, or those of most any political or philosophical stripes realize. Even good ideas and platforms I agree with get carried to extremes in the absence of any countervailing opposition, even wrongly-founded opposition, which prevents totalitarian-like nanny or police states replacing true freedom. What is beyond question to be thought to be right, without proper checks (and the best, most eloquent arguments possible in opposition to it) from those opinions that are greatly (even universally) thought to be wrong, devolves without being checked into a forced compliance and well-intended insanity, and complete devolution of freedom and an open society.

            So neither will I try to overly praise what I think is good about the way the world is moving now nor simply knee-jerk take a devils advocate point of view (because of being used to being dissatisfied after many years of the trying and torturing hope), which is necessary to keep things moving at all or on course to a better future. Every step forward to be forward at all not only needs to be second guessed, but third, and fourth guessed, and more. The point above all is knowing that at the same time, steps MUST be undertaken and even seemingly trying to stand still means drifting toward some unknown or unintended direction. And such inertia will quickly lead toward multiple cliffs which will undermine or destroy the ability to take any necessary changes of direction at all.

Giant sucking sound of loss of potential in headwinds: 

An open road or wind gone out of sails 

 Sunday, February 1, 2009

Truthrevival.org

.


     Now there is a great obviousness to how speech is being controlled by powerful interests, always as always, in the name of 'freedom' and 'protecting free speech.'  I said in my Notes pages that I thought political propaganda was still in its infancy in comparison to where it may end up. Now it should be apparent to all despite what you think of President Trump, or who's news is fake and what is propaganda. 

     The common consensus if there ever is to be one, should be that the "news" has become ever more manipulative. It is not so unfamiliar to those who have studied dictatorships, totalitarian states, communist or fascist states, and Central and South American politics. In the latter examples, when those with economic power or the media's "owners" decide they don't like a current government, they are quite skilled at highly sophisticated propaganda non-stop until their political enemies are out of power.

     Obama waved the prohibitions for the US citizens to be targeted by our own propaganda agencies or offices of our intelligence services. The obscuring of what is really going on, something our government as much as any other (and often more), has always done to some degree, has gone beyond something that those who studied such things can recognize. It is becoming in some respects plain to all, though camps of blame are well drawn as to who or what is causing it. Whereas in the past Fox News could be singled out as propaganda-like, now there are too many corporate news sites who have obscured the line between opinion and fact, and truth is quite purposely being ever more marginalized and subjective. 

    Our "Culture of Make Believe" (as Derrick Jensen called it in his 2002 book of the same name) is now having its most prominent news organizations reveling in providing whatever mindsets to its readers and viewers benefit their owners economically and suit their aims politically.

     Interesting times indeed.

People in the West are allowed to be concerned about governments who control their medias. That is one of the few Soviet-styled controls of the population not adapted to the US in the last few years. They are NOT allowed to work against those who control the media from wanting to control the government and blinded by ideology and their own media's propaganda enough not to see that is not only just as bad, but potentially far worse.

Notes 2 - 2004 

Notesworthy 2 of 3: Narrower Definitions of Palatable "Popular" Truths, 

What People Are "Allowed" to Know, Media's "Realities"

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 

Truthrevival.org

 Of any lead or highly ranked (top of the) news stories by major (news) services, I find only 20% or so of my interest is motivated by the "facts" presented, even when I believe them to have been attempted to be put forward without biases and prejudices, difficult to do and too rarely now (unslanted news) even attempted. At least twice as much or 40% of my interest is what effect this story will have on peoples' attitudes, actions, and beliefs as that is at least twice as important as the "news" itself. Equally as important as that, say the other 40% remaining of my interest is how and why that story was chosen to be considered of major or more emphasis than the thousands of other things equally as important that will be covered less or, as with most, not at all. What is it editorially, financially, politically, sociologically, or psychologically that says this is what people will think is important or want to be told about, or what those with the power to decide such things will decide to be placed in front of peoples' eyes to read, to hear about or to see. Those who see things in the news (hierarchy) in this manner can learn from it. Those who follow it (the news) without putting most of their attention on its effects on them and others, and who, how, or why it has been decided that that information should be told to many to inevitably wish to produce an effect by the telling, (those who) simply react to the news, they are simply sheep being lead around wherever anyone with the power to influence what the media decides to lead with or considers of more importance, wishes to take them.

 Notes 3 - Early 2005

Notesworthy 3 of 3: Without Honor or Truth, Corruption, 

False Histories, and Supplicant Propagandizing Media Strangleholds

 Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Truthrevival.org

. 
 

Pentacle in the center: space dusted off, spruced up, and ePubed

Live strong and long
weak or fast, rich or poor
with each day,
new deeds must be done
each moment be filled
illusions of loss, truth won
and being as yet undone

       Seeing as the last post here, almost 3 years ago, dealt with my Quadranine collection of poetry (which I was at that time going over having recently restored it back to its original form), it makes sense that the next post after that one would be about my new similar restoration project with my Pentacle collection of poetry, the follow-up to Quadranine.

       I have been archiving my writings these last few weeks as well as working on new things. While trying out an ePub editor, I liked what I was seeing come out, and was making fast progress with using it. My writings which I wanted most to put into ePub form were my notes, the ones I call the 5D notes, written mostly while going to college in 2004 and 2005, but also bit before then and a bit after. Also I wanted to make an ePub (digital book) of the 5D notes blog posts which were most of the only ‘original’ writing I have done in years now, but most of that is dealing with the past.

       I don’t think either the Notes themselves, or much less a blog introducing them, would be commercially viable or even of interest to most people. Few could really understand the dimension or time ones in the notes, not that they were explained fully enough nor necessarily meant to make more sense than they seem to, and the notes about politics or religion would turn many off as well. However, I think the Raw Notes, or all of them put together, have enough good ideas whereas almost anyone could find something in them which they might really like, or find useful, or have enlighten them to things maybe they did not know of or had not thought about yet. That is, if they were to read them all, getting past the ones that appear to be gibberish. The seeming gibberish served many purposes, not the least of which to weed out those who might not push or see past it.

       When I fret about bothering to write things almost no one would ‘get’ or find interesting, I simply think ahead a few decades to what others might know or where their greater capacity for knowing and higher curiosities might take them, and think, why did I hold back? The 5D notes blog not only is meant as an introduction to the Notes and how and why they were written, but parts of that blog are only more relevant to people like me. Any who have read or know all of them already, and to put all of that into better perspective or context, or to build a frame around it, all without trying to revise them or change them.

       One post at the 5D notes blog (5dnotes.blogspot.com) in particular, Rivers of life flowing behind the scenes: Faucets, Eternities, and Probabilities Undefined, I think came out very well, and it illustrates how I hoped to set up each post and to frame the past notes beyond just being another collection of them.

       Beyond the Notes and beyond setting up the Notes, which as I said are of limited interest to anyone, if literally anyone at all, at least in the present, I also made an ePub recently of some of my TruthRevival.org posts. As a collection of writing, the TruthRevival.org posts are ones that I can point back to and say, these last few years were not unproductive, and were ones in which I wrote some of my best writing. However those essays are also I think of limited interest to anyone, especially since it is a digital book of what is already available free online, so it is kind of pointless to think anyone would pay for it.

       Not that I think only to do things that are commercially viable, nor even bother to try much to monetize the writing that I do. But putting things into collections is a good way of getting together what you did in the past and see how it relates to each other thing you did or wrote. And reading it on a digital book reader is a more comfortable and easier way to find grammatical errors or misspellings. I believe this is because with a book reader, it is in a different presentation and format than the form in which it was displayed when it was typed, on which you did not catch the errors the first few times you reread it after typing it (if you tried).

       Which brings me to the Pentacle collection. I wanted to see if the ePub format and digital book readers could handle presenting poetry in a fashion which I would find presentable and maybe one or two people might be willing to pay for. The ePub’s image covers make my poetry books almost made for a format like that since the cover art, also done by me, I considered to be an integral part of the collections themselves.

       I had five original collections of poetry to choose from (not counting recompilations of ones taken from those five) and each had a distinctive cover which are nearly perfectly sized for small digital ink book readers cover art. As I have mentioned here previously, I consider the fourth collection, Quadranine, to be the best ‘collection’ of poetry I have written.

       But I also have admitted, I do not consider those to be the best of my poems. Far and away, if I had to randomly pick one poem out of any collection to see if I considered it to be good, or wanted to be represented to others by that one single poem for what I can do or have done, the odds would be far greater to find such a good one within Pentacle on the first try than in any other original collection. Almost all of the ones I think came out best were in that last collection.

       And that makes sense. Pentacle was started nearly 10 years (and covers over 10 more years before the last one in it) after the first poem I wrote which I though was very good, and because of liking that one, why I wrote more. That was the poem “The Burnout” written at the age of 16, which I still also consider good. But after nearly 10 years of having written many poems, they had become much more polished, used a much greater vocabulary which made it easier to “paint” images with words with much more relative ease.

       But I never liked Pentacle as a collection because I never saw it as a collection, but more as a grouping of individual poems that did not seem to have an overall pattern to them. With the other four, The Versatile Verse, Repetition, Triumvirum, and Quadranine, at the completion of each one, I would then go over them and put them into recognizable categories to become chapters. With Pentacle, that was not really possible anymore. There were not enough of them to do so for a long while and by writing far less often, there was a lacking of overall themes to them or any apparent inter-connectedness.

       Yet in thinking to do an ePub of one if my poetry books as a test case, only Pentacle really sparked my interest, partly because I had not yet revised it by including its outtakes like I did with Quadranine in 2008 and Repetition in 2006. But more so I think, probably because I believe it has the best ones overall, and it is closer in time to how I think now than any of the other collections could ever be. The most recent poems may be more complex and abstract, but to me they are better formed and more representational to how I am now and what I consider to be my best work.

       As I mentioned on the very first PolSci.com index page (and has been on every index page since then), “Poetry just was no fun anymore with Pentacle. I began to feel every poem had to be better than every one before in every way.”

       In rereading each poem after adding on more, it was fun to see it taking shape, and becoming something better than anything I had done before. But I kept putting more and more pressure on myself to keep getting better, to make each new one the best I had ever done. It gets hard to live up to such self-expectations and becomes not enjoyable after a while to even try.

       So as I mentioned on the index pages at PolSci.com, I decided to concentrate on writing songs instead for many years and did not write regular poetry at all purposely. I erroneously said on those index pages, it was 8 years before I went back to writing poems for Pentacle. I discovered now, it was seven years or slightly less than seven. With the ePub version, I try to bridge that gap by including some songs written mostly during that gap which I thought were more like lyrical poems than songs anyway. And adding those to it makes the new expanded version of Pentacle have a broader foundation and is more representative of the different kinds of poetry which I was writing during those years, 1990 to 2004.

       Like with the last post many years ago, I would like to put some quotes below from different poems, from the known ones and the outtakes now put back, but as I said, it is too diverse a grouping of poetry to be pigeonholed as to say anything I can put below is representational. There are good lines throughout the book, and even too many good lines in some poems for me to pick a few from it and say, these are the best ones. However, I will put some quotes here, as with the previous post, from previously released and previously unreleased ones, to give a sense of the expanded work, that non-collection collection I have come to call Pentacle, the most recent poems, the best individual poems, and probably the last collection of poetry I will write.

So soar I shall in my final few days
forever reaching after what is and isn't there
in the mists of clouds of mystery and wonder
rolling over the world that was never really mine
as seen from above in bewilderment and awe

Starry-eyed and Boisterous

From the graves rise all the victims of self deception
yet the soul of the imposter lies nowhere to be found,
so artful was he at convincing all eyes they did not see
with the vision needed to surmount the edges convolux
that he saw not himself by them
nor they he by any morsel of the truth

The Imposter

Survival but at what cost we wonder
while each day learning how high that cost climbs
for knowledge brings only more responsibilities
to be shunned if we are to continue on and prosper
in an ever more arid and poisonous environment
killing all those whose lives possess real value

Outgrown Innocence

Where do the rules have any meaning
when they favor those who heed them none the least
and guilt far less than others feel for simple negligence
escapes those who begat it all

The Brink

Shies, the contemptuous praises be
as the praiseworthy are owed their acclamation
to the very perpetrators whose life long wrongs
they sought with their very lives to undue,
fated to have the enemies of their passions
eulogize to all their struggles and erst
putting it in a perspective void of truth

To Wit

Standing still yet in the midst of my life as it was
drives home the fact that I see not with the same eyes
nor shall simple pleasures and simpler notions of purpose
again stall my timeless voyage into that elusive eternal beyond

Plateau

Looking back you say 'Hey,
things might have gone another way',
but could they or should they you wonder aloud
none to proud of having allowed the tragedy you see
by hiding or siding with those whose clothes
tell all that anyone needs to hear

Regrets

Now is the time which threatens us all,
threatens to destroy the spirit within Man's soul,
poisoned by the raw bestiality unleashed
dished out to mankind and dished out by mankind
for despite all that we have and have done
we have not yet risen above indiscriminate vengeance
wrought because we suffer greater still yet
and only seemed destined to suffer ever more

Now is the time

Wondering where wistfulness went
my mind briefly yet sagaciously moves
to a time when I thought not of myself
before doing and maybe, before being
letting not preconception deny experience

Contemplating Freedom

Waiting while wondering why
you wait to live but not to die
leaving all of the living left behind
walking through today seeing only tomorrow
with yesterday's dreams still driving your eyes

Waiting

Yet life is not to be bargained with or upon
and false securities inevitably shatter
for the dangerousness, the uncertainty must prevail
for only they hold claim upon tomorrow's tomorrow
and with them whatever blessings go
for us to know would be to rob our dreams

Waking

Without the fire in the belly,
the gleam in the eye,
the pensiveness of the mind
driving me ever to new heights
I revel in the quietude
seeking to master the sublime

Ever unexpectedly, joy

So to life leave mystery and to death leave the facts
so cold and unchanging written in black upon black
for living is standing with the truth to our backs
facing the yet-to-be true, the ever changing track
surmounting the known with each little act

In Ignorance

May our God be as forgiving of we
all too often led by our power gone astray
yet bold we must be for it is only our way
and only courageous assurance will rule this day
and make destiny bow to thee

My Country

What asketh truth,
acknowledgment or actions,
understandings of under-achievements
or nothing save simply saying 'What hey,'
when passing before passing away

How Tastes Truth

Tomorrow I shall awake
to the dawn of a brand new day
unseen, unknown to any who live today
and think and dream and believe
that they know what with it will come or may
as I too asleep to it still yet hail its new way
and dare embrace, to touch, to taste
in haste that which casts today away
for the sake of forsaking this day that stays
too long making me gaze longingly toward unseen days
and praise that which may bring only greater pains,

Tomorrow

Falling through time
I pause to lose myself
deep within my mind
as each moment
fades into a blur
of what was and is
and things which never were
yet may be
if their voices are heard
as they clamor to me
to heed their call
to make their maybe worlds real
if they can be at all

Falling through time

When the dust settles I'm there again
once the land is on the mend
just waiting to start it up again
‘til everyone is dead or friends
What rules don't break I'm sure to bend
jumping on to the latest trend
riding shock waves that trouble sends
and winding up on top in the end
Where I work don't matter no more
'cause the thrill is what I'm living for
and maybe someday I might score
some brownie points for stopping a war

Supersonic

They were surprised someone so wise
could get so far so fast
Love and compassion just wasn't in fashion
so they hoped that it would pass
Not to be put down, he brought his show to town
and the people came for miles
They all held the hand of this golden man
and came away with smiles
After awhile they killed him after a trial
but even then this story didn't end
and continues all the while
People love him still and they always will
and they find him all the time
They continue the search on Sundays in church
and in their hearts, love, and minds

Give to Live

Once you fear it Christmas spirit fades away
Its out of place and gets in the way
Its just too hard to always say "Hey
its been good to see you and have a nice day."
Reaching out to strangers just isn't the way
we ought to behave we are taught today
but some soon tomorrow on some bright new day
we'll see others sorrows as our own we may
Round that time of year you'll hear the people say
this time peace and joy, they're gonna stay
long past this bright new day, hey hey,
long past this wonderful day

Long Past Today

Everybody, they've got their own
them that don't, they just stand alone
with nobody to call or phone
when they stand to lose their homes
Who'll listen when I need to call
who'll listen when my back's to the wall
If you lose you're bound to lose it all
Somethin's missin'

Who'll listen

Listen up and you might hear
what its like to live without fear
of the truth becoming too clear
What are you, do you want to know
or instead would you let it go
rather than risk letting it show
We are truth and what we say and do
denies us or lets us shine though
to know ourselves by the things we do

We are Truth

The storm grows outside of my door
a chill blows through all of my pores
Everyone knows the tragic score
friends meet foes and roses galore
Death has come ready to chase
reluctant ones free from its embrace
and what's won from the evil chase
is a peace gun aimed right at my face
I can't see the sun coming out anymore
can't see the world being brighter than before
Clouds have come, I don't care what for
Truth and hope, they just don't live anymore

Can't See the Sun

Play it again, please, play it until
all sorrow's forgotten and time stands still
memories run deep, too deep to kill
but like silent film movies, practicality will
Follow you heartbeat always until
it leads you to moonbeams silent and still
like wandering gypsies, we dance on the hill
on flowering tea leaves too bright to mill
Leftover romance, perchance to dream
seemingly sober over what it all means
weaning the break and breaking the screen
between heaven and heartache, shakenly serene

Silent Film Movies

On a garbage strewn street
an unshaven dirty man wanders
in a setting naively thought gritty
amongst the terrors of the inner-city
that show the mentally ill no special pity
Accosted yet again by vicious youths
he barely understood the exchange taking place
when they cut him across the side of the head
and there, in the street, in the dark
he slept silently as he slowly bled

Shame on the Rain

In borrowed suits in a rented hall
by dim lit skies we heed the call
to gather forth in stolen time
to feast again and savor wine
and dance and sing and laugh and love
and embrace all that life is made of

The Dance

Be bold or be not
engage now or all is lost
time demands you a miracle
and cares not the cost

Cornered

To reawaken once again with hope
that today may be the greatest day
that I have ever known or will know
which has been for any or just for me
free of lingering reach of past woe
so indelible in its vivaciousness
that is sets the mark for all days yet to come
making them all point back to this one
not with jealousy, envy, or resent
but with pride, warmth, and joy
of the greatest wish won or the best achievement done
or simply the day that life was the most fun

Reawake

The road is a curious way to be
touching upon others places
momentarily theirs is yours
and through them you see

Going Home

But to the creator only sadness
when there is nothing left to create
no grander project, no unwritten song
to be but a patron, a spectator of what is to come
and find life anew by breathing the works of others

Codas

What you'll be in the end is with you now my friend
find it in you or find it out here too
Whatever you see, you'll want to set it free
and make it come true
Here in your heart there's a wonder apart
from all that you see and what will be
is all inside you to find out that you
were what you needed to be

Here in your heart

Wherever its all leading to, it will circle back again
it isn't a matter of place, not even a matter of when
its just a song we sing every now and then
Sing it now as we sung it then
and it will be forever again
future, past, just a mask, somewhere now its then
From now until forever, I know that I will be
just one little voice, just one little me
saying whatever was still is in a place we can't see

Whenever you (Long Version)

A pulse of potential
like a voice exclaiming
“I am here, I am here, I am here!”
spreads out into the infinite void
forever until it reaches some somewhere
to create someone or something which can hear
like a wave seeking a beachhead
to break itself upon
rising up upon itself and spending itself
seeking only to change something
becoming itself only in defining the shore

Potential

One light can cast a single shadow on the wall
with many lights one hardly sees any shadow at all
but ever more lights breed ever more shadows to see
more shapes, more perspectives fleshing out what can be

One Light

No one is ahead of anyone and no one is behind
No one is leading and no one is following
We are all pulling each other along
What's behind, beneath, or coming up supports us
What is ahead, above, or past us is a way to go forward
Beyond those and that around us,
the Universe might not as well exist at all

No one is ahead

Each thing in the Universe
is what it wants to be
What you want it to be
is relevant only to you
and whether you succeed in changing it
is irrelevant
for it will have succeeded
by its existence and your desire
to have changed you

Each Thing

I see all paths spread before me
and I see where each end will be
but between every now and every then
every road we can bend
and any road or place runs between we can see

All Paths

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Q9 Reborn Darker: 50% More Twisted Macinations and Blackened Gaits of Fate

... (The cover was a Tesseract! Big time deja vu on that one.) The title referred to the fact that all previous collections ended up divided into 9 sections, and this one was also, thus Quadra 9. All except Triumvirum's 3x3 format were just coincidentally divided into 9 sections. I can't compare this collection to the others. It just exploded creatively. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. When or where it worked, it was awesome though. Occasionally dark and twisted, yet never without a purpose or soul. ...

PolSci.com (Original index page)
(and every index page there since then), Early 2004

      Not to say this collection is that great, but it is for me is what people write poetry for, to create something better than you are, to channel creativity into something really really good. After this, I had no need to prove myself to others. It is as good or as worthless as anything people do, and it was definitely a real collection. How to divide it up, how to try to make sense of it, that was more difficult. The strangest ones, with made up words, olde English quasi-Shakespearian (lots of Thy's), and brilliant imagery left me wondering where it was leading. It was definitely stranger and better than the ones before it, and a bit darker. I had touched on serious subjects like Death Squads in Central America, the literal raping and murder of Amazonia with Triumvirum, but Quadranine came closer to a fuller viewing of what people really are behind their self-images.

      The original order I think is important. It shows how I was interpreting it, one poem at a time, then rereading them. These are good, what next? Where is this going? WTF is it all about? It is strange enough and a big enough of a collection I really still do not have a clue about that. Many of the subjects I have touched on in other things all my life. In some left-out mostly forgotten poems here, I have seen glimpses of ideas which would only come into full bloom or focus years later, but because those ideas were right here then, I can't say I was not aware of them. Artistically, poetically, absractionally, we are always aware of everything we might do later if we get the chance. All we need is time to sort it or let it out.

Summer 2006, Intro to Quadranine: The Original Uncut Version

      Quadranine is moved up on the site because it is the best one I did and it is now restored to its original form. In the last thing written in that notebook was the following line, "A survey of the belief systems people have and the courses of action these beliefs impel them to take." It says little to others perhaps, but to me, that sentence speaks volumes. We are set on courses of "fated" destinies because of what we have bought into, and cannot reconsider while moving. The faster we are moving, the less perspective we have and eventually those movements and those "ends" are all we see and know. I know nothing is fated and all "ends" can be changed. Ideology is what makes us human, separates us from other species, but it is ultimately to be chained to past ways of thinking at the expense of the future and of freedom.

The World We Inherited, The World We Will Leave Behind, September 4,2007 TruthRevival.Org

I did not like the idea of just using a 4 sided pyramid on the cover of Quadranine, nor even one mirrored below it. I then thought of using the same symbol or shape (an octahedron with a line in the middle where "touches" or is in "sync with" this world, a "base") configured in a cube shape with the 6 four sided pyramids pointing to the center of the cube, the bases forming a cube, and the other 6 pointing away from the center outward from the dice shape as points. "Four without and four within..."

      I liked the idea of this adding the number 12 to the mix, but the problem was how to draw it so it would not look like a mess (as much as it did when I did draw it). I then thought both representations together, a mess of 12 four sided pyramids (6 octahedrons) in a cube shape with 6 pointing toward the center of a cube and 6 pointing away, next to a regular 4 sided pyramid. But the 6 pointing away was to be the same concept, a mirror image of the other "outer" six but pointing into a "ground" equally from the other "inner" 6 and that "ground" touching the edges of all 12 pyramids at once, a 3 dimensional curved "ground" (the cube between the 12 pyramids) which was really flat somehow (from a 4 dimensional viewpoint, I understand now, seeing a 3D shape as flat, a "ground" as we see a 2D plane as flat) but also at right angles to each outer and inner pyramids along the edges of the cube. Also that the tips and edges of the outer 6 meet up somewhere away exactly the same way as the inner 6, equally mirroring how the 6 inner ones touch, only seen as such when viewed at a different angle.

      This was representational of a 4 dimensional object or curved 3 dimensional space around itself. Just as every three dimensional object is a representation of a 2D plane or "space" curved around upon itself, 4D "objects" can be envisioned as curved 3D spaces or universes curved back upon themselves forming that "surface" area. I know now that that was what I was thinking of but could not fully recognize it then in that way yet. When I later that year came upon a wireframe drawing of a tesseract, (the exact same concept or drawing from within middle inner cube when the cube in the innermost area is not a cube but is instead seeming to be a single point) I saw that that concept was more easily drawn and recognizable, and was also an easier to understand concept of 3 dimensional space curved around a back upon itself, and in a single symbol, not two (the way I had previously represented it), both of which were confusing and were two different views upon the same idea which had to be combined mentally to be understood.

Still here; Charles Williams novels; Not going Galt (or Gault) anytime soon anymore
JaredDuBois.com, 4/5/2009

      Since the second post on this blog (Repeating Repetition again, August 7th, 2006) was some lines or quotes from what was then the newly restored version of my "Repetition" collection of poems, dubbed "Repetition Reloaded," I figured I would do the same with the second post back (after a gap of almost 2 years) here, putting up some lines taken from the Quadranine collection since it has also been restored to its original form.

      I refer to it as "dark" or "darker" than the others but it was not really that much different. It was written in a very turbulent year, 1989, 20 years ago this year. Mostly what was removed was simply to try to get it into categories, not always to "lighten" it up at all. Individually, I still think the poems in the Pentacle collection were even better, but it was not the same type of collection because Pentacle was spread out over many years, unlike Quadranine. The longer or more times a work covers, it is not really as representative of a single or more similar time or times. For me, Quadranine and 1989 are linked together as that was the year over which it developed.

      Some of the imagery being stranger and more psychedelic may have a bit to do with the fact that it was the only other collection of poems, except for the first one, The Versatile Verse, in which I was smoking pot during the period of writing it. The election of 1988 did not go as I expected so I pretty much walked away from college for awhile (a fairly long while it turned out) disgusted with the idea of working in politics after that. It was not nearly as upsetting as the election of 2000 was, which was far more disconcerting on a whole gigantically higher level, and for many more people than myself. I stopped smoking pot again after a short time, before the end of 1989, but I am sure that influenced what I was writing somewhat. At least some of the strange imagery in Quagmire and Scares of Wont shows an effect. I had gotten much better at writing poetry by then so that collection combined a much more developed skill with, how shall I put it, artificially enhanced inspiration. It was an overlapping combination that would not be repeated.

      By the time of the Pentacle collection, as I have said previously, I was losing interest in writing poetry. I had moved on to writing songs for awhile for the added challenges of combining poetry with music, which is a different sort of category, more difficult in some ways, more superficial in others. “Wordy” songs, though they can be good and respected, are different than what most people expect songs to be usually. They expect constant or recurring repetition and lighter less thoughtful topics, as well as a far simpler vocabulary than I liked to use with writing poems.

      I tend to like to move on to other things and lost interest in writing songs after a few years as well. Writing long posts at TruthRevival.org was interesting too, a different type of writing form, as is blogging in general, with lots of variations on how people approach writing them. I liked the summation / overview of the first year of TruthRevival.org with The Lion, the Phoenix, and the Serpent retrospective. That could have been a good final coda for that blog if there was to be no more.

      Why I like to move on to new types of writing/art forms, I really don't know definitively. I can't imagine doing or wanting to do the same thing for many years. Learning new things to do creatively means a sudden rush of improvements until you find around what level you will probably finish off at, how far you might get. I don't mean success, money, or fame-wise, which are mostly irrelevant to me. To be financially dependent upon an art form has its own rewards (more free time to get better at it, more incentive to get better at it) but that has its own traps as well such as needing to be more conforming to what others would expect or wish to see, hear, or read. I am glad that other than software, (which most people don't consider an "art" form, though I try to view it and treat it as such) that I have never been dependent upon writing for an income, thus no incentive to do it or keep doing it longer, or for any other reason, other than because it interests me to do so at the time for some reason.

      So while getting Quadranine back into chronological order, at that time I singled out these lines quoted below as a mixture of what I thought were good lines sampled both from the outtakes, as well as from the ones which I felt were good enough to be in the “categorized” shorter version. It took years to get around to posting this anywhere, but since the last post here covered the cover design of Quadranine in great detail, that also seemed to make this a good time to mention the overview of the content as well. And here below is the long ago selected outtakes from Quadranine...

Living the life of a pariah
is a harrowing yet illuminating way to be
as you see a great fear hidden safely away,
a fear of ugliness or of imperfection
in people too immersed in superficiality
to know or care deeply for the minds within
and blind to prejudice's subtlest manifestation

- Sword of the Slight 2
__________________________________

Raise the pious high then drop them from the sky
while we eagerly await their flight or obliteration

Desecrate the scholars, let them see ignorance's power
and make them fear the inmates who dare to run the asylum

Cut the godhead's throat, destroy their myths then gloat
as we dare even praise ourselves
for being less believing than the rest

- Revolting 5
__________________________________

Toward injustice
I instinctively set my course
for with all that I am and have
I shall meet it head on full force

Gaining precious momentum
each moment of my waking hours,
I search to find the optimal path
to make even the leviathans cower

- Full Force 6
__________________________________

No longer lame by assigning blame
I light a torch in the underworld
hoping she'll see the flame

In the dark I grow faint at heart
as one crumpled little body
rips my world apart

- Runaways 9
__________________________________

A language is a precarious lie
which tells us we do not understand
Understanding is only a means to tell us
that some unseen force is in command

That is the lie which gains our trust
and makes us believe we are piles of dust
but once our lost culture comes of age
ignorance will mark the presence of a sage

- Sage 11
__________________________________

Those who seek to emancipate all
instead come to enslave as a consequence
To force any agendas through intimidation
is to doom its intents to irrelevance

- Conscientious Objectors 15
__________________________________

Thy nobles are but pawns and thy outcasts, kings
as pomp and circumstance strip away the cloaks
of spontaneity held dear by the precarious spirit
which presses upon all men to break the wake of God

- Thy Valley is High 19
__________________________________

And as the crest of humanity
sinks slowly into the sludge of refuse
while the ungainly chart the course
for a ship of states
set adrift upon a sea of eternal greed,
shed a tear for lack of rain

- Quagmire 24
__________________________________

Efforts to educate are lost
as they tear you down to pay the cost
of keeping the walls of ignorance standing
and send you off for rehabilitation

Laugh hearty and play the knave
as you carry your insanity to the grave
unable to unburden yourself of truth
that you know in heart yet dare not speak

- Sane in an Insane World 27
__________________________________

That this very self is a part of a greater plan
soon follows from this and leads one to understand
that the very truth of being
lies in a conjunction of all hands

- Inre Gastion 29
__________________________________

Twisted machinations
and blackened gaits of fate
cringe the stout messiahs
who lie prostate at the gate

- Scares of Wont 30
__________________________________

The tide of time bears not
any mercy for the drowning
swept away by the flood of relentless subjugation
of a race which once was free
before the wealthy and the learned
defined what freedom meant

- The Eternal Yoke 40
__________________________________

What is not is our world and what is not is what it us
We are born into ignorance and live out acting thus

- Void and Null 41
__________________________________

Two very differing worlds
share all lands behind all boundaries
populated by those who chase their dreams
and those who live with despair,
two resultant outlooks which can never be integrated
dooms all futures on Earth

- Diatribe 44
__________________________________

Monuments to ravenous ideas rise as cold as the stones
which form their stoic base unyielding to the changes
that seek to chip away at the timeless void they seek
to keep humanity trapped in, unable to grow or to die

- Pillars of Stone 47
__________________________________

Stay free of them and ignore how they are condemned
by our indifference at their tragic way
of having to cope with the absence of hope
and the shadow of death every day

Live in a cocoon guarded by the goons
with the guns to keep them at bay
and kill your heart by living completely apart
from being willing to do what you may

- As You Walk Away 50
__________________________________

Judge me not by virtue of my ideas compatibility to yours
for you cannot know their true values without being me

Define me not by those standards by which you gaze outward
seeing only that which your palatability allows you to see

Measure me not for I am more than I may seem to be
because in my heart I am not caged by that which I am

- Measure Me Not 52
__________________________________

Still they asserted for the young to be proud
of the dictators and police state which wrought these things
for in the end the wrongs were made right and justice came,
albeit seemed a bit late

Both will helplessly forever read the official lines
and cheer their young down whatever roads their nations take
for neither are they innocent positive educations they seem,
they are the face of the states hold upon its youth

- Boy Scouts/Young Pioneers 64
__________________________________

Look down on me all you will
for I shall never look back up to you
Step on me and crush me
but you shall never beat me into submission

Take more than I could ever give
and you will still never possess me
Separate me from this world if you must
for if it is yours to control I do not want it

- Defiance 69
__________________________________

When there is ever more people
destined to fight for fewer resources
who dares ask they metamorphize
into brilliant creatures of virtue
free from the dank dark earth below?

Now our world is in another sullen state
but who will fight rationality enough
to reach into the depths of the human spirit
and pull up some wondrous new aplomb
to save us again from proceeding consequences?

- Triumph over Reason 72
__________________________________

Suddenly death is everywhere
and tranquil serenity is forever disrupted
by the disarming preponderance of fear
which sets in upon the mood of the day
preventing all from complete recovery

Overnight chaos becomes the rule
typifying the terror embroidered within
the troubled hearts and minds of the survivors
who wander through the shattered ruins
in the graveyard that yesterday was home

- Without Warning 74
__________________________________

Inseparably intertwined with its culture,
the individual is more myth than reality
still it is the myth that acts thus
and it is the myth that dies alone
at last separating itself from all else,
digesting slowly the irrational truth
that never was it a part of anything
but that all else was a part of it

- Individuals 84
__________________________________

Choose your star carefully
by letting your whole being decide
for the direction you take
may, in time, become you

- Pointed Stars 86
__________________________________

Where will it come from?
Where will he beat me next?
In the living room?
In the kitchen while I'm making his dinner?
Or in the bedroom after the kids go to sleep?

Where will he hit me this time?
In the face most likely,
his favorite target,
sadistically savoring the chance to make my private torture
visible to the entire world

- Where Next? 87
__________________________________

...what it was he was only now finding he did not know,
this newness, this undiscovered incompleteness
lying beyond each new turn.

When suddenly and brashly he demanded his immediate release
he quietly was told that he held no bondage to lose
and that anywhere he desired to be lay waiting
merely for the moment and chance for he to choose
for moments are like coins tossed upon an endless forture
waiting to be taken regardless of where or when, or whose

- Vestabur - Part II 96
__________________________________

Still here; Charles Williams novels; Not going Galt (or Gault) anytime soon anymore [updated]

I am here. I am now. I deal with that. Do I like or enjoy its pluses and minuses? Do I like what happened to make it possible? Do I accept it or fight against it? To all of the above, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

The 5D Notes- Part 3, January 2005

"I found the pieces in my hand,
they were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
you gave me words I just can't say

So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
'cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
the rivers flow
where you are, I'll never know
but I'm still here

If you were right and I was wrong
why are you the one who's gone
and I'm still here,
still here"

Excerpt from the lyrics of "I'm Still Here" by Vertical Horizon

Note: Begun with the idea of sorting out what it means to be human in accordance with perspective, i.e. how orientation within a system at a right angle opposed to gravity is the perceived to be the "correct" orientation and face to face linear forward perception is the "correct" way of sensing ones environment. (A perceived means of orientation for consciousness within a multidimensional system, which way is up" in 2D, 3D, 4D, etc.) This also was the breeding ground of the ideas which ended up in Assistwo's Perpendicular Universe Dream, this and a real dream I had as a child about being stuck to walls. Understanding gravity and multi-dimensional Universes go hand and hand and perspective is the key to understanding that as your perceptual environment is your actual environment much more than most people have any clue about.
        These points are key and relevant to my present means of interpreting how people could perceive environments in light of curved multidimensional spaces (4D, 5D) plus gravity.
        Outside of making these points, the rest has been done I am sure many times before by many people as an outsider's view of humanity. Mostly it is from what would or will be the beginning of a sociology treatise I will or would have written around 2009 called The Human Zoo, which I have been thinking about recently. I would not wish to write it any sooner, but felt like starting it now for this part for the reasons noted above. That is why it has to go through the other stuff it mentions first before getting to the part I wanted most to write about now, 4 paragraphs down, orientation within a system.

Intro to Humanity as would be seen from an outside comparative species perspective, Fall 2004

         ... Being in France might actually have made writing Humanity as Seen from an Outside Comparative Species Perspective possible (at least my version of it if that title has already been used) because pretty much immediately at the start of first thinking about it, I figured it would have been written (by me) in France in 2009. Not that I am bound by that pattern, bits and pieces of imagined or ideal futures remembered, but just as I would only have written The Power and the Mana on Haleakala, once I get it into my head of connecting what I write to a certain place and time (and sometimes external events) in the future, I either stick to it or don't bother.
        Anyone who has ever taken art seriously would know that if you can't make what you envision the way you imagine it should be, or at least close enough to how it is in your head, you wouldn't want to bother starting. And that makes sense as an artist. If your "vision" cannot be realized, it would not be your creation.
        But life is in the compromises of working with what you have. Sometimes everything not going according to plan is actually better than what you set out to do, but if you are a true artist, or a pig-head, you still would be pissed off. ...

Outsiders Looking In, Sarkocrats, Russian Arks, and my Ark, 5/31/2007

        I have stressed many times the need for people to think in terms of 4 or more dimensions. To me, this is self-evident. Those with sight (eyesight) tend to think in terms of "things" and of this "thing world" (Universe) and "thing beings." Geometry and how "things" are constructed is key to (understanding what lies behind) this type of thinking.
        But the experienced world goes far beyond 3 physical dimensions. Atoms are a quintessential 4 or more dimensional "object." Only through 4 or more dimensions can electrons "movements" through "non-space" between orbits be adequately explained other than the standard non-explanation, which may as well just call it magical. Also, the interaction between time and movement (electrons) requires multi-dimensional thinking without getting into observer/observed paradoxes.
        Yet consciousness trumps them all requiring many more dimensions to try to explain what it is and how it functions, defying time, even at times causation.
        It seems unlikely that humanity will ever be able to explain all of the implications of this and better understand what Universe we inhabit and how it functions while all of science is ultimately subordinated and subservient to the military for "strategic" advantages, especially in trying to understand the mind, for such studies and insights are always joined hand in hand with how to control it.
        Our aggressive nature and incapacity to pursue a global means to eliminate such mechanisms for controlling thought and progress, seemingly dooms us from finding definite answers about ourselves, our minds, and our worlds, and keeps those professing the most ignorant, ideologically-based close-minded approaches firmly in power, seemingly indefinitely.
        It is no accident ideologues seek to control and harness the military, for it alone has the means to suppress proving them wrong by eliminating research, suppressing facts, and vanishing or breaking or silencing proponents of alternative types of thinking or means of lessening the ever-growing "restraint" of the thinking processes of "free" men and women.

Atoms, consciousness, and military control, 5/3/2007
(and from the 5D Notes Part 6)

"Of Williams' works, this is the one that is best to begin with. I would recommend reading Plato or having a basic understanding of him before attempting it; it also helps to have rudimentary knowledge of the works of the Middle Ages and the Bible. The Unicorn as purity and Holy Kirke, for example, would not be evident offhand to the modern reader. That being said, even without knowing what was going on (which was myself the first ten or so times of reading it and still, to some extent to this day,) you will still learn and gain so much. For the types of people who do tend manage to get through this book and are familiar with the other works mentioned within it, intellectual superiority is a common fault. In this case, Damaris does not do it intentionally and doesn't even realize she is doing it. All she cares about are making little charts to compare the various philosophers and their ideas. She forgets all about the ideas themselves until they are forced upon her to near death. Hopefully we won't have to go through that to realize what we are doing, but this book can give you a near-death shock enough to perhaps do so. Most of Williams books leave you completely drained at the end of them, they are not like reading McDonald where afterwards you want to run around in a field taking in the beauty and picking flowers or whatever. You sit staring at the wall, shaking, and realizing how pitiful you are but also your great potential through love and redemption. Just a heads up; not a book to read when already depressed or weak. At the same time, if you think you are ready; it is probably proof that you aren't."

Review of Place of the Lion, by Alexa Chipman

Editor's note: [Song "Wondering Where the Lions Are"] Partially inspired by Charles Williams' book The Place of the Lion. ...
"I have a relative who is involved in one of those kinds of government jobs where they can't say what they do. The part you can say involves monitoring other people's radio transmissions and breaking codes. At that time China and the Soviet Union were almost at war on their mutual border. And both of them had nuclear capabilities. I had dinner with this relative of mine and he said, "We could wake up tomorrow to a nuclear war." Coming from him, it was a serious statement. So I woke up the next morning and it wasn't a nuclear war. [Laughs] It was a real nice day and there was all this good stuff going on and I had a dream that night which is the dream that is referred to in the first verse of the song, where there were lions at the door, but they weren't threatening, it was kind of a peaceful thing. And it reflected a previous dream that was a real nightmare where the lions were threatening."

-- from "Closer to the Light with Bruce Cockburn" by Paul Zollo, SongTalk, vol. 4, issue 2, 1994. Submitted by Rob Caldwell (on www.cockburnproject.com).

Note: Well, almost 2 years since the last (original new) post here. As Researcher would say, "But my bi-annual 2 year vacation isn't up yet!!! I'm going to call my Union of Unnamed Fictional Characters!" The pattern on 2D 3D 4D 5D Thinking Made Simple is/was/seems to be: begun in the summer of 2003; finished Book 1 in the summer of 2005; Book 2 begun in the summer of 2007; so this pattern kind of makes me wonder about what might happen in the summer of 2009. Not that I live by, or try to live up to, patterns, but I do find them interesting, and occasionally worthy of recognition. On to new posts... (and maybe new chapters and verses someday soon)

        In continuing the theme of sometimes using this blog to give the backstory of posts for my other blog, Truthrevival.org (itself needing some revival of its own lately these last few years), I will attempt some backstory to the 3 planned (now past) retrospectives or "clip show" posts. The first and the third were to be connected and both dealt with the idea of a disaster (nuclear) averted with Iran. As I said in the alternative 3rd retrospective, when I did not see the world headed in that direction anymore, I decided not to write the 3rd one. Eventually I did write a similar third one, but not in the intended way. Both the first, "The Lion, the Phoenix, and the Serpent: To Renew or Revive, Looking Back on One of Five" and the third (to have been called) "Searching for Langston's America with the "Ghosts" of the LOC (Library of Congress): Lines on Maps, Lines in the Sand, and Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Bombing Iran," each was to have included quotes from Charles Williams novels.

        The first retrospective post, "The Lion, the Phoenix, and the Serpent: To Renew or Revive, Looking Back on One of Five" came off exactly as intended, with the quote from "The Place of the Lion" by Charles Williams. The reasoning for choosing to use a quote from that novel was because I wanted an excerpt from the song (Wondering Where the Lions Are) to be there at the top, and it was about a nuclear war averted, or which did not happen. And because that song was based in part or influenced by the "The Place of the Lion" by Williams, via a dream Bruce Cockburn had. Also, that song kept running through my head when thinking about a war with Iran. When finding out what the song was actually about, I knew how I would structure the first of the 3 planned retrospectives.

        The third retrospective was to come if a war with Iran was close or imminent, titled as above, and the quote to be included with that one was to be from "Decent into Hell" which I thought would be appropriate considering if a possible, and unnecessary, much wider war was seriously being contemplated, or threatening to throw itself into the mix. Both of these quotes and the form of the posts were decided upon before I actually read the books, which is kind of backwards, but sometimes how things work, at least to me.

        So when actually reading the books, probably, this time around anyway, for the first time (unless I read them as a teen and forgot about them) I was simultaneously looking for the right (remembered or anticipated) quote appropriate to what I was going to write about. With the third and last retrospective and the novel "Decent into Hell," the passage was apparent, self-evident, and could only be one paragraph which was perfect, exactly matching the theme: a disaster averted. Luckily I put off writing this post so long that someone else (Rev. Stan Bohall) typed it up a few months ago and put in on the web on his own blog so I can just cut and paste it and link to it. That quote never used by me, in the intended way, is below from "Decent into Hell" by Charles Williams.

"She looked out of the window. There would be few more evenings during which she could watch the departure of the day, and the promise of rarity gave a greater happiness to the experience. So did the knowledge of familiarity. Rarity was one form of delight and frequency another. A thing could even be beautiful because it did not happen, or rather the not-happening could be beautiful. So long always as joy was not rashly pinned to the happening; so long as you accepted what joys the universe offered and did not seek to compel the universe to offer you joys of your own definition. She would die soon; she expected, with hope and happiness, the discovery of the joy of death."

http://quest-min.blogspot.com/2009/01/descent-into-hell.html,
January 11, 2009

        That theme, potential disasters which never happened or were averted, also applies to a new intended to be written post for Truthrevival.org, (and a related and intertwined new "multi-verse" post soon to appear here) seeing as I can seemingly finally break onto that long promised "new ground" soon. It would be nice to write again in ways or on topics decided long ago now, but the time was not yet right until now. As Carly Simon sang, things are "coming around again."

        But this post was also to be about a different paragraph which jumped out at me while looking for a good quote from "Place of the Lion." That paragraph is below.

"He doesn't," Richardson said. "When we pick him up he has got right on to the ninth circle which is that of goodness only knows what and is attributed to the seraphim, and he dithyrambs on about the seraphim without giving any clear view of what they are or what they do or how one knows them. Then he quotes many texts about angels in general and becomes almost pious: the sort of thing that Erasmus might have thrown in to placate his enemies the monks. But there's a bit soon after which may interest you- here we are- 'written in the Apocalypse. For though these nine zones are divided into a trinity of trinities, yet after another fashion there are four without and four within, and between them is the Glory of the Eagle. For this is he who knows both himself and the others, and is their own knowledge: as it is written We shall know as are known - this is the knowledge of the Heavenly Ones in the place of the Heavenly Ones, and it is called the Virtue of the Celestials.'"

The Place of the Lion, Charles Williams, 1931, Pg. 101

        That paragraph set wheels in motion in my brain remembering the logic behind a drawing I made. I might had missed it but it came right after the line about a trinity of trinities, so when put next to what came after it, I could not miss the coincidence which triggered the memories. The third book of poetry I had written, as I had written elsewhere before, was to be in the form of 3 sets of 3 parts, or a trinity of trinities. The fourth book of poetry was called "Quadranine" because it was the fourth book of poetry also to have nine chapters like the previous three. Thus a fourth set of nine, thus Quadra-nine.

        With the cover for the third poetry book I wrote, "Triumvirium," the cover for it was made as 3 overlapping right triangles in a circle, with Roman/Greek columns around them because the title was based upon a Latin word, "triumvirate" and that is a plural (possibly correct or crudely correct) version of the word, for more than one triumvirate. Though having nothing to do with rulers, but in this case, as 3 sets of 3 things that rule our universe (past, present, future, etc.).

        I wanted the cover for Quadranine to also be a geometric design in nature, but somehow to be symbolizing a combination geometrically of the numbers 4 and 9. I decided upon a 4 sided pyramid (5 sides counting the base) like those in Egypt, with a 4 sided base. But it was too simple and really did not work other than 5 sides altogether but 4 above the ground, thus the 4 and the 9 (5+4). But that really did not work. 5 edges, 5 points, 3 and 4 sided edges, nothing that really combined the numbers 4 and 9.

        Then I thought of a pyramid that also extended below the ground in a mirror image, thus it would have 4 sides above the ground, the one side in sync with the ground, the base, and 4 sides below the ground in a mirror image. Thus, 4+1+4=9. I liked the symmetry but did not know how to draw it at first. The 4 above and 4 below and one in the middle has been used in symbology by others and Williams as mentioned above was literate in Medieval Christian symbolism (I am somewhat and links to why I chose quoting Williams from these books before reading them), but the way he wrote that concept as quoted above was slightly different, not 4 above and 4 below but "four without and four within."

        I did not like the idea of just using a 4 sided pyramid on the cover of Quadranine, nor even one mirrored below it. I then thought of using the same symbol or shape (an octahedron with a line in the middle where "touches" or is in "sync with" this world, a "base") configured in a cube shape with the 6 four sided pyramids pointing to the center of the cube, the bases forming a cube, and the other 6 pointing away from the center outward from the dice shape as points. "Four without and four within..."

        I liked the idea of this adding the number 12 to the mix, but the problem was how to draw it so it would not look like a mess (as much as it did when I did draw it). I then thought both representations together, a mess of 12 four sided pyramids (6 octahedrons) in a cube shape with 6 pointing toward the center of a cube and 6 pointing away, next to a regular 4 sided pyramid. But the 6 pointing away was to be the same concept, a mirror image of the other "outer" six but pointing into a "ground" equally from the other "inner" 6 and that "ground" touching the edges of all 12 pyramids at once, a 3 dimensional curved "ground" (the cube between the 12 pyramids) which was really flat somehow (from a 4 dimensional viewpoint, I understand now, seeing a 3D shape as flat, a "ground" as we see a 2D plane as flat) but also at right angles to each outer and inner pyramids along the edges of the cube. Also that the tips and edges of the outer 6 meet up somewhere away exactly the same way as the inner 6, equally mirroring how the 6 inner ones touch, only seen as such when viewed at a different angle.

        This was representational of a 4 dimensional object or curved 3 dimensional space around itself. Just as every three dimensional object is a representation of a 2D plane or "space" curved around upon itself, 4D "objects" can be envisioned as curved 3D spaces or universes curved back upon themselves forming that "surface" area. I know now that that was what I was thinking of but could not fully recognize it then in that way yet. When I later that year came upon a wireframe drawing of a tesseract, (the exact same concept or drawing from within middle inner cube when the cube in the innermost area is not a cube but is instead seeming to be a single point) I saw that that concept was more easily drawn and recognizable, and was also an easier to understand concept of 3 dimensional space curved around a back upon itself, and in a single symbol, not two (the way I had previously represented it), both of which were confusing and were two different views upon the same idea which had to be combined mentally to be understood.

        As I have written before about things like this, I can see how the same concepts and ideas have crossed my mind and criss-crossed my experiences at different times in my life, and this idea of curved space has come up at various times and various ways in drawings and other things. I did not see it clearly at the time, but they connect together, different aspects of the same elephant so to speak. Eventually forced to deal with or meet these concepts head on, I have a bigger experience pallet to see how they fit together over time and the perspectives I was being moved towards, sometimes quite unwelcome, but in a logic progression. The 3D 4D 5D Thinking Made Simple and the related "5D Notes" were logically deducible from recurrent themes, images, concepts, drawings, and imaged 3D and 4D sculptures, in my life, almost predictable or preordained to be written or drawn eventually. I did not wish to always think in or along such lines or about such things, but always saw it as a road or set of events reappearing at different times and stages of my life in different ways.

        So why then, or at that time did I try to dig in or hold on or follow it. It related to what I was trying to figure out, things about time, a bigger palette in which to "fit" the universe into, and that it just was always there popping up. [Aspects of what I was trying to figure out ran through all of my notes in spots but a few pertinent parts or shades to this now are below from Part 2 and 3 of the notes.

You can't run away from something that is a part of you. Wherever you go, there it is. It is in a sense inside of you, and integral part of what you are. Everything that you have experienced, could have experienced, what you are experiencing now or might have been experiencing now, and all that you will experience or could possibly, all of this is a part of you. You can focus on some parts and forget others. Indeed, you cannot see all points from any one point anyway, but all and everything else you can and sometimes do affect by your existence, all this or these "other" things in your realities are all a part of you. Moreover, without them, you are not or nothing. How they all must fit together, the organizational structure you define them by, and they you by, is what connects which points to any others, or which "theres" you can get to or see, from which "heres".

Geometry is not mathematics, though geometry may use mathematics. Mathematics are abstractions, geometry is inherent within physical reality and describes it, or in a sense defines and creates it. Geometry was physics before physics was physics, and geometry will replace physics again. It will just be a higher order of geometry than people now can understand or relate to, but the universe is nothing if not symmetric. All seeming asymmetry is just following patterns we do not yet understand or have the means to recognize how they fit together with each other and the symmetries we understand already, though incompletely, without them.

A goal which required understanding multiple dimensions across multiple timelines from multiple individuals points of view. In short, how just about everything one can imagine about the universe fits together. Not optional. Required. And soon. Perspective-wise, unification theorists are like children playing with toy blocks (of a single 3D universe or timeline), where I must figure how multiple overlapping 3D closed spaces or universes fit together by playing with tesseracts (comparatively speaking in terms of goals only, I don't have any real tesseracts to play with, though physicists could really play with blocks if they really wanted to :-)

People think you can understand the Universe and explain everything via one timeline and one definite reality. This is perceptual. It is a lake, but calling the surface of the lake you see in front of you, and think that surface is the whole lake. If that plane is the lake, then imagine many lakes beneath it stacked. The real lake would be all of those "surface" lakes crisscrossing in ways you cannot imagine seeing it only as a 2D sheets. The same with a 3D plus time universe, you must see that as only as the surface of the lake crisscrossing in ways you cannot imagine viewing only one timeline as real. Since I try to know the whole lake at once, all possible timelines, I still pay attention to the surface, but know that surface is not what I seek to understand and instead focus on how to think in terms of the whole lake I can still even yet only see parts of it at once, though gradually finding new organizations or ways to understand or relate to "depth" dimensional ideas as well, which I am beginning to comprehend.]

Thinking I was dying (at times my health was very bad) or that WWIII (most won't know how close we came) was about to happen unnecessarily, that time was running out so to speak, trying to force open that door was really the only logical thing to do. Stones not overturned and soon seemed no longer able to be reasonably put off and still have time to be overturned later.

        At one point my health was so poor, heartbeat so irregular I went into Walmart before going home. I feared I might not even make it through the night and wanted to be around people just in case that would be my last chance to see people at all. It is not a perspective that comes cheaply or is sought after, but is rewarding. It is wanting nothing from anyone, just to see what there is to see if a few more hours or a few more days is all that you have.

        One of the lines from my "5D" notes, like the last post here about the dead bird, also very short and cryptic was "Road to south side of Maui." It was from January 2005, my future or future choices or paths was narrowing greatly for reasons other than health, but just as seemingly great a lessing potential of futures to be lived growing narrower and narrower, fewer and more precise ways to go, that to remember that time, those events, and that concept I wrote down... "Road to south side of Maui."

        What it refers to is the one and only time (so far) that I drove to the south side of Maui from the southwest side. The road kept getting narrower and narrower, I began getting more and more afraid of damaging my car, getting stuck or hitting another car (sharp turns). Eventually the road narrowed to almost a single lane through a small area of trees I could not see beyond and I was sure I was going absolutely nowhere. But I did not turn back, risked hurting my car (low to the ground) going over what I think was a cattle grate, and getting stuck, and literally was in awe on what was on the other side. The road opened up again just beyond that point to not be so narrow and the scenery though desolate and plain, no trees, no green at all, just rocks and cliffs and ocean, it was just jaw droppingly amazing.

        Not to say that is what death is like, but I was glad I did not turn around that day, and reassured myself at the time I wrote that line, by writing it, hopefully that after going forward through that time, a new vista would open up again one day where I would find myself somewhere beyond what I imaged before and in a new set of circumstances in an unforeseeable or unforeseen place. I have said in other places, I have long since have lost my fear of death, even had at that point, and worry more about the narrowing of choices more than what lies beyond any narrowing if the one road that is left leads one day to none.

        Moving beyond it or getting through, one way or another, will take you somewhere else you can't see around now, not for certain or with perfect clarity anyway. And if there is to be nothing after it, then you have nothing to worry about. No car getting stuck in the middle of nowhere on a road a tow truck might not go to help you. Not much to care about at all really. But if there is something that comes later, prepare yourself to be surprised. It, like wanting to know of such things, is almost inevitable, just in ways you can't imagine or see or understand yet because you have not experienced it yet. But like everything you have not done yet, or even might do, is a part of you now in ways you may not understand yet either.

        As I wrote a few years earlier similarly with even more self-assurance, and closer in time to the big changes I was going through, "A way to go forward will always appear as opening before you. You cannot go back until all the ways forward have been traveled, tried, and exhausted, and even then what seems behind you exists only ahead and can only be reached by going forward."

        And even more so, "Reality is full of truth you don't want to know and would rather not think about. Enjoy your ignorances while they last, for someday you will wish to know and think of them." And back to the nearer present, from the most recent post at Truthrevival.org, yet still quoting those same days and time in my in the past, "And in the end, not realizing it, not conceiving of it as an option, letting some truths go unknown until the end of time, it is not even a possible viable option. Truth will seek us out to become known, even and most often when, we spurn it."

        Time to move on to newer ground. Been quoting myself too much for years now without bothering to try to be saying anything new or notable or quotable anymore. End of clip shows, barring WWIII of course.